Two weeks ago, I, acting as my fraternity's Pledge Commander, initiated the Nakatomi Protocol and began Operation A CAPELLA (Alpha Call All Potentials Every Last Lonely Aardvark). Last night, it was completed as a success.
This is the realization of a dream, a dream that started six months ago and was briefly suspended back in May when I woke up to go to the bathroom. However, the dream came true last night as our fraternity gave bids to 84 pledges.
84! What the frak, how are we going to handle 84 pledges?
I was elected Pledge Trainer last November, but I quickly changed the title to Pledge Commander and instigated a paramilitary coup, and by paramilitary I mean inside myself, as I overthrew the civic Pledge Trainer and replaced him with a crueler, more dashing, and more militarized Pledge Commander. I also promoted my assistants to Pledge Lieutenants. Pledges are now known as PFCs (Pledge First Class).
Today we begin a four month pledgeship. I call it Operation MARZIPAN (Mostly All Robot Zebras Iota Pledge Action Now!). I would be still working on the acronym, but I got tired.
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