Yes - My Curtains Have Dolphins on Them

When I left America, I made a vow to not shave until I stepped foot back on those purple fields of grain. I don't know what color they're supposed to be - I'm always asleep when I drive through the mid-west.

I shaved last night. As I've explained in simple English to most of my Turkish friends by now, I couldn't feel my face anymore. If the beard was wet, I felt dry. If it was wet because of soup, then I felt socially uncomfortable.

Using two different BIC razors and a small pair of travel scissors, it took me an hour and a half to shave. Afterwards, my face was still numb. Sometimes you can't win.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, I trimmed my ear hair (thanks, Dad), but that's not the point. I also shaved. If the staff at the medical faculty can figure it out after we're sitting in a circle for three minutes, then so can you.

Turks can't say the word "beard". When I sat down with the medical faculty, I tried to start a conversation about Wikileaks (the largest majority of cables were actually about Turkey - over 7000. My department head told me to be careful in the city because I might be perceived as a spy. So I immediately went to the city and started following people). But after the first few exchanges, one of the students exclaimed - "What happened to your bird?" After that it went downhill. Everyone wanted to know why I shaved my bread, or if my face got cold without my burn.

I humored them for a quarter of an hour before turning the conversation back to Wikileaks. Just then, by far the loudest student in the classroom came in late and yelled "YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY BEER!"